Monday, January 23, 2012'♥
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
Ohyeah!! It's CNY again, my favorite! I used to look super forward to CNY cause WK will always bring me to Hongbao river after a CNY-related movie. But this year.. nope, still hoping he could though. I've been thinking just now, how's his CNY coming along. I guess as usual? He won't want to join in for visiting. I asked him over to my place for reunion dinner this yr, cause i know his mum and him will probably not have any. But he told me he has, well, he lied. I don't know why. Yet, it's nothing surprising though. I lost count of how many times he lied just to avoid my invitation to ask him out. Im super thick skinned hor.
I did plan to ask him to join my family for visiting this year since my mum doesn't mind, but i guess he won't and he alr promise to go back to mac to work before i ask him. So, never mind. I wish he will though, i want him to let go of his past and join in the fun of CNY. He can't even speak to me in a proper tone now, nonetheless be happy going around visiting with me. He's actually a really well loved guy yknow. Once he post something about him being upset or what, he'll confirm plus chop receive many reply asking him to cheer up, blahblahblah. He has nice friends, :D Tht's glad to know. However, i really really really hope Hillary is a nice girl, treasure him girl, he's a guy hard to find.
Sunday, January 15, 2012'♥
Just Today
Yes, as my title suggest, it's just today... I'm feeling pretty down. I don't know why. I suddenly missed him a lot, our past especially. How he used to msg me last time, compared to now. How he used to treat me, compared to now. The difference really hurt a lot, cause I'm sure nobody wants to be in my shoe. But it's alright! It's better that he treat me like this so i can lead my life better. I think he's leading a pretty good life now. He's having a reunion dinner with his family this coming CNY, really happy for him. Interesting friends to make him happy, another Cheer for him! 2 girls that will always keep him company whenever he needs. He probably made up his mind who he has more feelings for, so another cheer i guess! Hope he makes his move fast though, don't keep that girl waiting. P.S. I don't really like the girl he's into now, she's not a very nice person i realize. But ohwell! Hopefully he will plan a better way of asking instead of just going straight to the point without saying ILY. Cause only a stupid girl like me will fall for. (He told his friend I'm stupid to accept him at that time, and i feel rather ashamed cause i know his friend. But, nvm!) I know I'm not can alr, i didn't regret that though, cause you nvr know if you don't accept at that time, when is he going to ask again. And we wouldn't go through all the "obstacles" which made our r/s more happening and made us love each other more.
Well, i kinda missed him just now, so i texted him. As usual, he took a long time to reply short msges, but its not his fault. Blame me for texting him. I did what he says, expect less. The feeling is odd, cause i know he don't want to reply me at all. He'll probably find me the most irritating Ex-girlfriend he could ever have. But who care, i got used to that feeling alr. His cold treatment bcame part and parcel of my life, i would feel even weirder if he treat me nice. But of course will happy la! Again, EXPECT LESS!!! And yes, i should end this post or i'll really break the guiness record of crying a river! Goodbye readers, he's really a nice guy.
P.S. Gives all my blessings to both of them, i hope she'll be happy, needless to say, HIM too.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012'♥
NVR ALONE, BOY
Hi readers! Im back. I was writing again just now, but i can't seem to focus writing in the book. Just thought of coming here instead. I'm probably too lazy to write after many mathematical sums just now.
Well, i went for a musical with WK 3 days ago. Yeap, as usual cold treatment and silence, nothing new. Followed by a few arguments but I'm kinda used to it. It's always been like this ever since we broke up. I did what he says, i stop expecting good treatments from him. He said he was alone handling the band, and it hurts him when i said i hate band, cause it's his band he's handling. Yes, i agree it's my fault for saying that. But i pretty sure i do not hate band now as much as i do at the starting of the year. I felt so much better and belonged to the band after band fest and cleaning up the store as a band. It was fun actually. Well, i still think he's selfish cause he apparently haven't thought of me. He hated me as a BM last time when he's with me, he also told me how much he didn't like sec school band when I'm the one handling. And I'm all alone now, going through craps that happens at home and have no one to turn to when he could just turn on his phone and thr'll be msges from those 2 girls or just talk to me cause i'll nvr leave him alone. Yet i know, he won't be thr for me whenever I'm lonely cause he simply feels irritated to see/hear me. No I'm not blaming him cause this JC band is really problematic. So i just kept quiet, i didn't want to say more, it only makes the situation worst. Sometimes or maybe most of the times, he's action towards me really hurts a lot, like really a lot. What to do, i brought all these upon myself. Who to blame? ME. So, I'm neither angry nor blaming him, never will.
It's the start of a new year now; I wish he would at least treat me as a friend, not just in front of our friends but all the time. Isn't too much right?
